Postcards From The Edge
by strictlyficly
Summary: Bonnie finds a way to turn her emotions off.
1. Chapter 1

Can a witch turn off their humanity?

Bonnie didn't know but she was going to find out. Afterall it was just for one week. At least that was what she was telling herself.

Save Elena, screw everyone else. That was their motto but for some reason Bonnie thought that she was the exception to the rule. She was obviously wrong, because as soon as the Salvatores were presented with the opportunity to show Bonnie just how meaningless she was to them they jumped at it without hesitation. Okay so technically they had screwed Abby but she was one hundred percent sure if Abby wasn't in the picture, she would have been the one on Caroline's bed that night.

Bonnie let out a self deprecating laugh as she turned the page in Emily's grimoire before feeling her heart stop as her eyes landed on what she had been looking for. After five hours she had finally found it. She slowly lifted the grimoire towards her face, feeling a tug at the corner of her mouth as she mentally checked off every ingredient that it required, letting out a sigh of relief when she had them all in her possession. Only to have her heart plummet to her stomach when there was a warning that it could be permanent. She let herself have a moment of thinking it over before deciding to hell with it. Everyone had screwed her over, time and time again and showed no remorse. Come to think of it she couldn't remember getting a thank you for anything that she'd done. Besides with all the hell that she's gone through she figures they could deal with whatever she dishes out.

So without giving herself another moment to think it over she pulls her phone out of her pocket turning it off before tossing it aside to start the spell.

One hour later Bonnie awakes to the smell of sage burning in the air, groaning as she sits up, frowning at the circle of salt she finds herself in before rolling her eyes when she hears banging on her door. She slowly gets up from the floor and starts to walk to the front door, standing on the tip of her toes to peek through the peephole, deciding not to answer when she sees Damon standing on her porch with a look of annoyance on his face. As if she were the one that were harassing him. So she lowers herself to her feet and walks into the kitchen pouring herself a glass of water before making her way upstairs to her room ignoring Damon. As if she didn't know he could tell she was inside, any vampire would be able to hear her. It was only when she saw him sitting on the branch of the tree right outside of her room did she give him a second of her attention before muttering a spell underneath her breath creating a barrier around her home so if anyone beside her father or the mailman were to pass to fence they would forget why they came and leave. Or in Damon's case be forced to speed away from her home in order to escape the feeling of someone clawing at his brain.

* * *

The next time anyone saw Bonnie was Monday at school. Not one person was able to hide their shock at her new style which had changed drastically. Gone were her long dark curls. In place were brown waves cut to shoulder length. She was wearing a white lace crop top and pale blue jeans paired with black ankle boots that added about three inches to her height.

Caroline, Elena and Stefan watched slack jawed as Bonnie sauntered into class. Taking in her new appearance. Being the first to recover Caroline smiled as Bonnie walked towards them only for it to falter as she breezed right past them taking a seat in the unoccupied desk at the back of the class two rows from them. She felt her heart sink to her stomach when Bonnie didn't spare her so much as a glance during the whole class. Even starting a conversation with the new girl once the bell rung, agreeing to help her to her next class since they shared it. At least that's what she had 'accidently' overheard.

"Caroline?"

Caroline swallowed and turned to face Elena seeing both her and Stefan staring down at her both offering sad smiles.

"I'll catch up with you." Caroline nods her head, trying to urge them to leave without her. Letting out a deep sigh when they walk out of the door. She's fully aware that both probably heard her but she doesn't care. She has to figure out why Bonnie isn't talking to her. Ultimately deciding to try to talk to her during lunch.

However that plan fails considering Bonnie never showed up to their table. And to top it all off she completely skips their after school meeting spot going straight to her car.

* * *

The same thing happens the next day and the next day and the next day and by the fourth day Damon has had enough. So when he spots Bonnie making her way through the front door thanking some loser with a smile for holding the door open for her, he immediately starts to make his way over to her ignoring Caroline's suggestion of letting Bonnie have her space. Slightly taken back when he actually gets a good look at her. He had gotten use to her new hair but as the days went on she apparently started to get more daring with her clothing, standing in front of him in a black leather jacket over a black mesh bodysuit and a high waist black leather skirt complete with dark makeup and black ankle boots. _I guess you really can never wear too much black._ Damon muses before shaking his head.

"Is there something I can help you with Damon?" Bonnie asks, annoyance dripping from her voice.

"Actually there is."

Bonnie fights back a chuckle. _This should be good._

"You can start by ditching your attitude. I know that you hate me but-"

"I don't hate you Damon. I hate what you did to me but I don't hate you." Bonnie admits breezily.

"Okay…" he drags out warily "disappointed."

"No," Bonnie frowns shaking her head "not disappointed. I've never really gone through a situation where I actually had expectations from you."

"Ouch." Damon chuckles.

"Then what…" He trails off waving his hands around when Bonnie doesn't say anything.

"You let me know where I stand with you and now I just don't care. If I allowed myself to feel anything towards you I'd be the one that would lose sleep. And you're the last person I'm willing to let have that kind of power over me. So you are nothing to me, just like I'm nothing to you. The only thing that I expect from you is to keep Elena safe and you proved to me that you'd do anything to keep her safe so that's where our pseudo alliance...partnership...whatever we had starts and ends."

Damon takes a step back as though Bonnie just slapped him. For some reason he feels as if Bonnie had just broken up with him.

Bonnie rolls her eyes when Damon steps away from her, mouth opening and closing several times before just staring at her.

"Bonnie you're not nothing to me." Damon clamps his mouth shut before he can say anything else, wondering how those words passed his lips and why his voice sounded as if he was pleading. Hoping like hell that Blondie and co somehow missed that part of their conversation. Even though it was pointless.

"Then what was I? Because I couldn't have possibly been a friend to you if you could kill my mother right in front of me and not even apologize for it. You didn't even hesitate. And you can deny it all you want but we both know if Abby weren't there that night I would've been the one that got their neck snapped. Because 'Save Elena. Screw everybody else.'." Bonnie says with a smile "As long as it means she gets to live, it's okay. Bonnie? Oh no she doesn't matter. It's not like she's saved our asses or put us before herself ever. I'm sure she'll let it slide. Besides it's not like we killed her." Bonnie shrugs "I mean that was your mentality that night, right?" she questions, her face going serious "I know I do whatever I feel is necessary when it comes to saving Elena but…" she trails off letting out a deep breath "Abby didn't deserve that. _I_ didn't deserve that. I lost my mother not once but twice now because of Elena."

Damon frowns, sure he could see why Bonnie could feel some resentment this time around, he would never admit it but he got it. But he didn't know how Bonnie managed to place blame on Elena for the first time.

"Oh." Bonnie raises her eyebrows "You don't know? ...Of course you don't know. Abby put Mikael down when he came to Mystic Falls in search of Elena. Resulting in Abby losing her powers and leaving me and never coming back. And flash forward about thirteen years...give or take she leaves me again because Elena was in danger...again. Only this time she's turned into a vampire. Don't get me wrong I know Abby is in the wrong but when you factor in both stories that led to her leaving they both have the same cause; saving Elena's life. Elena's chosen over me by literally everyone. Even my own blood. What does she have that I don't?" Bonnie whispers that last part "Besides the power to turn two brothers against each other, magical blood, a pretty face, a nice body, a heart of gold and the ability to make anyone fall in love with her or fall all over themselves just to get her to look at them." Bonnie pauses "Never mind." she waves her hand "Mystery solved."

"Bonnie, are you okay?"

"No, but I will be."

They both turn when they hear a horn, seeing Rebekah greet Bonnie with a smile and a wave, narrowing her eyes at Damon muttering his name before turning away.

"Oh, there's my ride."

Damon blinks several times, dumbfounded, forcing himself to get over his shock he stumbles over his words managing to get out "But we're not done." When he sees Bonnie walk around him.

"I am." Bonnie replies over her shoulder, wiggling her fingers at him as Rebekah drives off.

Caroline's jaw drops when she sees Bonnie get in the car with Rebekah, the two laughing when they drive past her, Elena, Tyler and Matt.

"When the hell did that happen?" Caroline asks with a frown when Damon rejoins them.

* * *

The next time Bonnie gives them the time of the day is at the twenties dance. Surprising them all when she walks in with a man that towers over her even in her five inch heels, with brown skin, a shaven head and beautiful green eyes.

Caroline abruptly stops dancing with Tyler in favor of gawking at Bonnie's date, glancing over at Elena seeing she's doing the same to Stefan's dismay but once she and Caroline exchange a look both men smile, slightly amused at their reactions.

"Jesse." Caroline mouths to Elena over Tyler's shoulder.

"Jesse." She repeats when Elena frowns.

"His name is Jesse." She raises her voice, a nervous smile appearing on her lips when she gets several looks in return before glaring at Elena when she laughs.

"I think I just found Caroline."

Caroline frowns looking around in search for whoever said that and turns to see Bonnie's date giving her a small wave along with a smile before turning his attention back to Bonnie who confirms after asking if she was a blonde.

"Are you talking to them again?" He asks.

"Not really." Bonnie replies, indifference clear in her voice.

Caroline knows she shouldn't eavesdrop but her curiosity gets the best of her.

"You should."

Caroline smiles, starting to think she may have an ally.

"Not yet. I don't want this to be one of those times where they just apologize and I accept it. I want them to know how much this hurt me. They can't keep springing these bs apologies on me and like an idiot I go back to them hoping that maybe this time it will be different. I expected something like that from Damon but not from Stefan. We were friends...at least I thought we were. He hurt me and the worst part is he's the only one that has apologized. But like I said...an apology isn't going to cut it this time."

Caroline sees Jesse kiss the top of Bonnie's head before looking away before he catches her staring.

"I was actually talking about Caroline. Desmond and Steven can go…" He stops when he hears Bonnie start to laugh before looking up at him, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Is this your way of telling me you don't like Rebekah?"

Jesse grins "Rebekah is nice, I would just like to meet everyone else."

"Smooth." Bonnie laughs "Well I'm not opposed to talking to Care, Matt or even Tyler. They just haven't made an effort. So I guess they took Elena's side... _shocking_." Bonnie chuckles with a shrug before squealing as he twirls her around.

It's then that Caroline tunes out, mulling over Bonnie's words. It's not that she's taken Elena's side at all. In fact she wonders why Bonnie even thinks that but when she thinks about it she can't remember herself actually making an effort to speak to Bonnie. Though it's not like she's actually given her a chance. But when that thought crosses her mind she remembers that she's been spending most of her time with Stefan and or Elena when she's not with Tyler. Bonnie has every right to think she's siding with Elena.

"What is wrong with me?"

"Us."

Caroline jumps, before closing her eyes realizing she asked her question out loud.

"Bon is right." Tyler continues "Besides, that whole thing had nothing to do with us. So she has no reason to be upset with us. You even helped Abby through her transition."

"I thought she just needed space." Caroline sighs "I can't believe I let that evil blood slut make her way into my garden."

"Your garden?" Tyler questions.

"Bonnie." Caroline rolls her eyes.

...

Across the room Stefan has a sad look on his face having listened in on Bonnie's conversation. Bonnie had considered him a friend and he basically showed her in one night that she meant absolutely nothing to him.

"Stefan?"

He turns to see Elena looking up at him with concern in her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he lies "It's just the crowd. I just need some air."

...

"Evil blood slut?"

Caroline jumps when she sees Jesse standing a couple of feet away from her, pocketing his phone as they both turn to face each other.

"It has a nice ring to it."

Caroline smiles "I try."

"Caroline." She holds her hand out to him.

"Jesse." He meets her hand.

They both begin to eye each other down having both expecting warmth from the other's touch. Wondering why they hadn't sensed the other.

Bonnie walks out of the bathroom, stopping in her tracks when she sees Caroline and Jesse shaking hands before starting a conversation. While under normal circumstances she would go over to them, this time she stays back watching the two as Caroline seemingly starts to interrogate him. It's then that Bonnie starts to walk over to them but is stopped when Tyler steps in front of her.

"It's either you let it happen now or it happens later. And if it happens later she'll probably have brutal questions."

Bonnie sighs knowing that he's right "I've only known him for a month. I have to make sure he likes me before I release the wolf."

Tyler laughs, while normally he'd be offended that someone called Caroline anything out of her name, he lets it slide...after all Bonnie does know her.

"A month?" Tyler frowns.

"I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want him to be a casualty or end up in the crossfires."

Tyler looks at Bonnie warily, figuring she doesn't know what he is "Bon…"

Bonnie looks at him, smiling when he looks down at his feet, slightly touched that he's attempting to look out for her "I know he's a vampire, I just don't want him anywhere near all of this."

Tyler smiles "How old is he?"

"Eighteen."

Tyler gives her a look to which she smiles rolling her eyes "Six hundred and eighty eight."

"No offense but if he can't protect himself at that age do you really-"

"Want to finish that sentence while he's in the same room with you?"

Tyler frowns and looks up meeting Jesse's gaze, standing up straight when he sees the look in his eyes.

Caroline and Bonnie both tense when they see the change in the demeanours of who they're talking to, following their gazes to see Tyler and Jesse staring the other down before stopping when Bonnie opens her mouth only having to say their names to make them stand down.

"Bonnie."

Bonnie turns to see both Stefan and Damon standing next to her, rolling her eyes before turning to her right placing her hand on Jesse's chest in an attempt to calm him down when he appears by her side asking if there's a problem having sensed her distress.

"I assume this isn't a social visit so just tell me why you're here."

"Who are you?" Damon frowns directing his question to Jesse who grins as he gives Damon a once over.

"You must be David." Remembering Damon to be the arrogant one.

Caroline tries to stop her laugh but stops apologizing when everyone looks at her, even though she's not sorry at all.

"Damon." The elder Salvatore growls knowing he said his name wrong on purpose.

"Right." Jesse nods before turning to Stefan giving him a nod, after looking at him. Hoping that he doesn't recognize him. He had had a brief run in with the ripper. Apparently saving a woman's life was a way to get on his bad side.

Stefan frowns wondering why he didn't get a hostile greeting as his brother did but, he hadn't really done anything to him.

"I'm Jesse, Bonnie's boyfriend." He holds out his hand towards Damon, smiling when Damon squeezes his hand extra hard, obviously trying to break his hand.

"Nice to meet you Damon." Jesse applies slight pressure to Damon's thumb before shaking his hand smiling at the audible crack and wince Damon almost manages to hide.

Bonnie rolls her eyes, not amused by their slight pissing match, also fighting back a smile at Jesse calling himself her boyfriend. Relieved at not having to have that awkward talk.

"Let me guess Elena ran off and got herself in trouble?"

"Yup." Damon confirms holding Jesse's stare.

"Well, we have no choice but to wait it out. Whatever Esther is doing she'll already have it done by the time you try to force me to help you. So sit tight. Esther isn't going to hurt Elena anyway."

"And how do you know that?"

"It's witch business."

"Not when it involves Elena."

Bonnie laughs "Since Esther has gotten here, all she has needed from Elena is her blood. And Elena is now two for two on delivering that to her."

"So you're working with Esther? Is that what you're telling me right now?" Damon frowns stepping towards Bonnie.

Bonnie blinks in surprise when she sees Jesse grab Damon by the neck lifting him off of the ground mumbling words she can't make out into his ear before dropping him to the ground like a rag doll. Starring Damon down as he slowly gets back up muttering a reluctant apology to Bonnie, sneaking a quick glance at Jesse before turning his attention back to her. By the look on Tyler's face alone, whatever was said must have been brutal, especially considering how Damon's attention is locked on her clearly trying to avoid everyone else's gaze.

Bonnie raises an eyebrow at Jesse when he looks away, something he always does when he feels guilty, and shakes her head before turning back to Damon with a small smile on her face "Um, no I'm not working with Esther. It just doesn't take a genius to figure out that Esther threatened Elena with something and she came running to protect everyone she loves and cares about. As far as the whole blood thing, same thing happened at the ball. Esther's still trying to take her kids out. They're not linked anymore so as long as you protect Klaus, you'll be fine."

"Yeah, that sounds good in theory but what if they're linked again?"

"What makes you think they'd go anywhere near her after what she did? I know she's powerful and all but she needs to get them to drink Elena's blood for her to link them again. And they don't trust her anymore."

"So what do we do Bonnie? Hm? You want us to just twiddle our thumbs until she gets back?"

"I rather you do that than have to sit through another minute of your bitching." Bonnie smirks at the look on his face, her eyes flitting to Stefan, raising an eyebrow at the look on his face. As if he were studying her, trying to figure her out.

"You're girlfriend's back." Bonnie states watching as Elena walks towards them, blood on her dress "Have a nice night." Bonnie takes Jesse's hand leading him away from everyone else.

"It was nice to meet you!" Caroline calls out after them.

"It was nice to meet you too." Jesse smiles over his shoulder returning Caroline's wave as he and Bonnie leave the gym.

* * *

Damon and Stefan stand side by side waiting for Bonnie to open the door. Both hoping that she won't slam the door in their faces, getting the shock of a lifetime when they see Bonnie standing on the other side in nothing but a towel, droplets of water hitting the floor due to her damp hair. Having clearly just got done taking a shower. They expect her to blush, scream and jump behind the door in order to cover herself from them but instead she just stands there irritation clear on her face as her eyes dart back and forth between the two.

"Stefan. Damon." She greets them.

Both brothers have a look of pure shock on their faces at her indifference. Which turns into one of annoyance when she follows their gazes to her thigh, eyeing a bite mark she folds her lips and slaps her hand over it fighting back a moan at the contact. Rolling her eyes when she sees the smirk on Damon's face and one of pain when she looks at Stefan before he replaces it with a forced smile.

"So you just came to stare at me or are you going to waste both of our time asking for my help?"

"Can we talk?"

"Not if it involves trying to get me to do a spell for you." Bonnie replies leaning against the threshold.

"So you're just going to let your best friend die?" Damon steps in.

"Can either of you honestly tell me that Elena was meant to have a long happy life?" Bonnie asks crossing her arms over her chest as she waits for their answers.

"Exactly." she nods when they both remain silent "We all know the only way that Elena is going to live is if she becomes a vampire and as you know, she doesn't want that. Do I want her to die? Of course not. But I don't want to be another casualty. And if I allow myself to be sucked back into being the magical tool I'll be the next one to die. Nothing good has come from me helping you guys so I'm done. For the first time in my life I'm putting me first. And if she can't accept that, I don't need her in my life."

"Are we done?" Bonnie asks when they once again say nothing.

"Listen." Damon clears his throat ignoring Stefan's protest, clearly trying to stop his brother, knowing that he's going to make the situation worse "If you're expecting an apology...it's not happening. So you can either suck up your pride and be a good little witch or you can start planning your so called best friend's funeral. Do you want her death to be on your hands?"

Stefan slowly turns his gaze to Bonnie, bracing himself for the blowup but it never comes. Instead, Bonnie looks at Damon as if she hadn't heard a word he had just said.

"I get it now." Bonnie whispers staring at Damon, a hint of a smile on her lips "But it's a shame that that's not enough."

Damon frowns while Stefan shifts uncomfortably.

"You honestly love her and would do absolutely anything it takes to save and protect her. That's what she loves about you. _That's_ the Damon that she loves. But that same thing is the thing that will make you the one she won't chose. You love her, there's no doubt about that. But that love is selfish. That's what keeps you from getting the girl. That will always be what keeps you from getting a girl like Elena."

"Her death won't be on my hands. You can stand there and swear up and down that it'll be my fault if she dies but...it won't. I'm not the one that came in and ruined my brother's happiness. I didn't force my way into his girlfriend's life. Trying to get her to fall in love with me. Make her see that I'm the better brother. The one that she should be with. I don't go looking for trouble or go off the rails when she does the right thing by turning me down when I try to make a move on her while she's in a relationship where she's happy. I don't try to be the shoulder she cries on when she and my brother are having a rough time...even though it's sometimes because of me. Oops." Bonnie makes a face before continuing.

"If you really want to save Elena you'll leave her alone. But since we all know you're not capable of that, we have to go with the second best solution; stop trying to be the hero and sit her down and be realistic with her. The only way she's going to make it past eighteen is if she turns. And if you've somehow managed to convince yourself otherwise, I suggest you stop kidding yourself. I've already made her a daylight ring, come by when you need it."

Bonnie takes a step back starting to close the door but stops "Oh and Damon?"

Damon looks up at her.

"Go to hell." She smiles sweetly as she closes the door in their faces. As Bonnie makes her way to her room she sighs knowing that she was pretty harsh. Deep down she knows that it was really Stefan that indirectly started this madness due to saving Elena the first time. She just let Damon's words get to her and she lashed out. For that she feels a tiny twinge but pushes it down, he's said and done way worse to her.

* * *

The next time Caroline sees Bonnie she takes Jesse's advice and charges for her, smiling when Bonnie turns her attention toward her, her arms automatically opening as she gets closer. Both laughing as they bump into a row of lockers.

Caroline feels relief and happiness run through her, when Bonnie hugs her back and hears her laugh. Maybe she hadn't lost her. But after an extra squeeze she feels something off about Bonnie. When she looks into her eyes she sees a darkness that wasn't there before. She pushes her thoughts aside, deciding to ignore it...for now.

...

Bonnie feels a surge of happiness run through her. Between Damon's words from last night and Caroline's action, infectious smile and laughter she feels her spell warring down. Times almost up. And she's not sure she's ready for it yet. Faking the most basic emotions has been nice. Not having to actually feel has been refreshing. Especially guilt and grief. Maybe she'll just perform it again.

* * *

When Damon sees Caroline walking with Bonnie towards her car he takes it as all is forgiven. He knew last night was her just blowing off steam. She would never really be okay with Elena becoming a vampire. But his stream of thoughts are immediately shut down. Because as soon as Bonnie sees him he feels his blood boil. Pain increasing with each step he manages to take towards her. The pain becomes too much, and he eventually passes out but not before he hears Bonnie's voice in his ears promising that she'll see him later.


	2. Chapter 2

Bonnie feels a change in the air as she approaches everyone. Not surprising considering Damon must have blabbed to Elena about what she had done to him when he had gone awol. It's not that Bonnie was upset that it took them this long to notice that something was up with her (in fact she expected them to figure it out much much later if at all) as more as it took Damon falling off the grid for them to put one plus one together. She had started to hang out with Rebekah of all people for crying out loud (no offense to the blonde Original considering Bonnie actually enjoys her company). But if that didn't scream something was off then, what would it take? Besides, when had she ever been able to shut Elena out? After all she was the first to come to the doppelganger's defense and aid...well besides the Salvatores.

"Okay, I'm here." Bonnie greets as she sits down across from Elena, Jeremy, Matt, Tyler and Caroline. Trying her best to not take offense to the fact that they're all together on the opposite side of the table. "Guys?" she questions, studying them, noticing the guilty looks on both Caroline and Elena's faces. Bonnie presses her palms together raising them to her mouth to hide her smile when she senses Damon and Stefan attempting to sneak up on her from behind.

With a deep sigh she turns her attention to Elena "Call off your guard dogs or I'll finish what I started." She states calmly.

Elena flinches but flits her eyes behind Bonnie, giving a look to one of them.

"Alaric too." Bonnie adds, sensing the newly turned hunter, and to think she helped suppress his urge to rip his best friend's throat out...why had she done that again?

"So, what is this?" she asks when the three men sit to her right, putting a noticeable amount of space between them and her "An intervention or something?"

"Why?"

"That's pretty vague." Bonnie says looking at Elena.

"Why did you-"

"Attack the man that killed my mother and almost killed me? Oh, I don't know." Bonnie shrugs "I guess I just felt like returning the favor. It's not like anyone else was going to do it."

Damon scoffs, as if she actually forgot about Rebekah playing doctor with him against his will.

"No." Elena breathes ignoring Damon "I mean why...or how did you...what happened to you Bonnie?"

Bonnie holds up a finger to Elena, suppressing the urge to smile at the look on her face before she turns to Damon "I'm sorry sweetheart, is there something you want to say?" Bonnie raises an eyebrow waiting for Damon to reply.

Damon blinks in surprise at the condescending tone Bonnie's using when she speaks to him. Deciding not to respond to her at all.

"Well that has to be a first." Bonnie smiles turning back to Elena, lowering her hand back down to the table "I turned it off." she answers as if it were nothing "I figured if a vampire could do it...why couldn't a witch?" she shrugs "Considering a witch is responsible for everything a vampire can do in the first place." She adds as an afterthought.

Bonnie didn't know why but she found herself taken back that they hadn't put that part together, though considering she's never heard of a witch without humanity she lets it slide.

"You turned it off?" Elena breathes "Bon…" She trails off, not exactly sure what to say.

Bonnie lets out a deep breath "Yes Elena. My emotions are off. They've been off for the past week. But before you all get your panties in a bunch, the spell is slowly but surely wearing off. Something about seeing Damon squirm was oddly satisfying. Between that and what happened the day before, he managed to break through it."

"Oh," Bonnie feigns shock "did Damon manage to leave out his little visit to me before I 'lashed out'?"

Bonnie lets out a small laugh when Elena turns to Damon who avoids her gaze.

"Why am I not surprised?" Bonnie mutters before giving her a recap, nodding when Elena looks horrified. Though she was unsure if it was because of her words or Damon's.

"You know what?" Bonnie turns to look at Damon "I've been directing all my anger towards you. When I haven't showed the tiniest bit to Stefan. After all he had a part in it too. And even worse he was the one that was going to kill me. I should change that."

"Bonnie."

"I said I should. I didn't say I was going to." Bonnie rolls her eyes, annoyed by Elena's protective nature "Besides, apparently everyone is a firm believer in not holding anyone's actions against them when they don't have their humanity. So unless you all want to be considered hypocrites, I would suggest that you show me the same damn courtesy. Unless that only applies when your last name is Salvatore. Then I completely understand. Though if that's the case, don't come to me when you have a problem. Are we clear on this or am I going to have to spell this out for you when I'm 'me' again?"

Bonnie looks at everyone, narrowing her eyes when she doesn't get a response.

Everyone jumps when Alaric's head suddenly falls to the table.

"Stefan's next." Bonnie says, knowing that he will get everyone to speak up.

"Perfect." Bonnie beams when they all give her a reluctant 'Yes.'

"And one more thing." she waits until she's sure she has everyone's attention "If anyone tries to guilt trip me about this later on or pull a stunt like this again...I'll unlink Caroline and Tyler from Klaus' line, tying them to Rebekah, release Alaric's dark side and set his sights right on Klaus. Don't believe me? Call my bluff." Bonnie dares them before standing up from the table.

"And I believe the real question should be; what happened to _you_ , Elena. I'm not the one holding an intervention for her friend when she retaliated on the man that once snapped your little brother's neck right in front of you. Or almost sent your so called best friend to an early grave. My Elena would have noticed something was off about me the minute she saw me and cornered me, one on one. She wouldn't have staged whatever the hell this was supposed to be and had her puppies try to sneak up on me." Bonnie throws out as she spins on her heel walking away from everyone "I mean seriously, what the hell were they going to do to me anyway?"

 **...**

"Well that went well." Damon snarks as he watches Bonnie walk away from them. Fighting back the urge to show her, before hissing when the syringe in his pocket explodes. Glaring at Caroline when she laughs.

"How can you joke about this?" Elena frowns "Bonnie's been like this for a whole week and we didn't even notice."

Damon shrugs, if he were to be honest, he was relieved that Bonnie was acting like this because she wasn't herself. He was happy that this sassy, cutthroat version of his witch wasn't here to stay.

"I kind of like her." Caroline shrugs unapologetically at the looks she gets in return "She's like the drunk Bonnie minus the stumbling and not having to hold her hair back by the end of the night." She elaborates. Plus it was nice to see her standing up for herself and clearly not here for their bullshit.

"Where are you going?"

"Bon invited me out for drinks with her and Jesse. I'm not exactly excited to be a third wheel, but this is the only way she's going to let me anywhere near him." Caroline answers, giving Tyler a quick kiss, telling him that she'll call him later as she walks to her car. Hoping that this little ambush didn't revoke her invite.

Elena feels a twinge when Caroline answers her question. She was always the first person that got to meet Bonnie's boyfriends and vice versa. When had that changed? But then Bonnie's words hit her and she realizes that Bonnie wasn't lashing out at her or trying to make her feel bad. She was just telling her how she felt. After all, that was what she always heard about the humanity switch. Due to not having emotions, you didn't feel the need to hold back.

* * *

The next two days fly by and according to Caroline the old Bonnie is back. Drowning in guilt but back nonetheless. Except, even through her guilt Bonnie hasn't as much as spared her a glance. Elena sees her in the halls, in the classes that they share and she sees her after school. Yet as soon as she attempts to make her way towards her she walks away.

When Elena corners Matt and Tyler, asking why Bonnie was avoiding her they give her apologetic looks and try to steer the conversation away from Bonnie. When she decides to go straight for her new right hand ( Caroline ), she sighs and tells her that she doesn't want to talk to her. Elena gives her a bitter laugh, telling her that that was obvious but feels guilt hit her at full force when Caroline says that Bonnie thinks she won't be able to speak to her one on one as long as the Salvatores have a say in the matter. And as much as she wants to disagree, she knows that Bonnie is right. But what both she and Caroline seem to forget is that she is her own person and makes her own decisions, and she tells her as much. Only for her argument to falter when Caroline points out that she always has one lingering in the background, whether she wants them or not. To which Elena sighs, attempting to deny it but stops when she sees Damon making his way over to her a big grin on his face.

Seeing this Caroline gives her a 'You were saying?' look before walking away, telling her that they'd talk later.

But later never comes, and apparently the guilt that Bonnie feels doesn't outweigh her staying true to her word. Because as soon as Damon tries to get Bonnie to help him by playing on said guilt Bonnie snaps his neck and goes to find; Caroline, Tyler, Rebekah and Klaus, rendering the couple and two Originals unconscious before taking blood from them. And next thing they all knew, all hell breaks loose.

However once knowledge of Alaric's life being linked to Elena's, gets back to Bonnie, her protective nature kicks in and she quickly gets to work on unlinking them, yet lets the rest of the pieces fall where they may. The results aren't what her best friend hoped for but Caroline, Tyler, Matt and herself are safe and sound. And that seems to satisfy the young witch.

When Damon sees Bonnie in passing he doesn't say a word to her and vice versa. Stefan however seems to make it his mission to get back on her good side. And Bonnie seems to enjoy it, because she strings him along for weeks before finally admitting to him that she forgave him a long time ago. Damon however, she makes it clear to him that he can kiss her ass.

After seeing her walking around with Stefan (she's still shocked at how close they've become) she takes it as a sign that she may be receptive to hear her out. However she doesn't give Bonnie a chance to say no because she catches her at her locker after school (bribing Caroline to keep Damon away from her long enough) and pulls her into her arms telling her how sorry she was, asking for her forgiveness and how she could make it up to her. She smiles when she feels the tension start to leave her body and starts to hug her back assuring her that they're fine and that's all she needed to hear.

It takes a while for them to get back to normal and if Elena were to be honest with herself she knows that Bonnie is still closer to Caroline than she is to her now. But hopes in time that they'll get back to where they were.

 **...**

While Bonnie finds herself a little disappointed in how easy she just let her issues with Elena go, she knows that it's due to the fact that no matter how much she and Elena may have wanted to they could never hold grudges when it came to the other. Though she can tell that the brunette is a little jealous that she and Caroline have grown closer in her absence, yet she doesn't speak on it.

When Elena finally voices her jealousy on being the only one that hasn't gotten to officially meet Jesse, Bonnie gives in, agreeing to dinner. Finding herself impressed with how well they actually get along, rolling her eyes when they tease her about being jealous of their 'bond'.

The next day she finds herself grinning when she and Jesse find themselves walking in on an argument between Elena and Caroline over who he likes better. Laughing when he gets flustered when they confront him about it, constantly looking to Bonnie for assistance, before saying that he likes them both equally, when he sees that she's not going to help. Taking the heat when they both make it clear that they're not pleased with his answer.

* * *

When it comes down to Elena making her choice, both Bonnie and Caroline find themselves pleasantly surprised when Elena chooses neither. Telling the two brothers that she's choosing herself. But tells Bonnie and Caroline that it's because she doesn't want to continue being a riff in their relationship, and having a relationship with a vampire when she has no intention on ever becoming one isn't realistic no matter how much she may want to be with one of them. She never tells them who she would've chosen though they both have a feeling she would've went with Damon. Though neither are surprised that Damon continues to linger in the background (with the occasional one night stand). While Stefan on the other hand starts to spend time with someone named Freya. An apparent flame from the past.

* * *

"There's no such thing as a humanity switch is there?" Bonnie looks up meeting Stefan's eyes across the table. Once she finally accepted his apology, they started to actually become friends. She would admit it was a bit unfair to forgive one and not the other especially when he was as equally to blame. She knows now that there is no good brother but at least Stefan tries to be a decent person.

When Stefan hears Bonnie's question he sighs before shaking his head in the negative replying "I don't think so."

"So that was me...everything I said, everything I did...that was me?"

"The unfiltered you, but pretty much."

"So there is a switch."

"If there was a switch to humanity―emotions―whatever...when we flipped it, we would be in a constant state of void. If it were real, we wouldn't get the occasional flood of relief, or flare of anger or the that weird feeling where it feels like someone just hit heart with a pick?"

Bonnie nods noticing he was looking for a confirmation of the description.

"We would just be..." He trails off trying to find the word he's looking for, smiling when Bonnie says it.

"Numb." Bonnie finishes "That was what it felt like most of the time. Then there were times where I felt like I was...trapped in my own head. Like I was this passenger while someone was in control of my body saying all the things I've wanted to say for _soo_ long. Doing the things that have crossed my mind but…" Bonnie trails off "Is it just me or is sex better when 'it's off'?"

Stefan chokes on his drink.

Bonnie laughs, folding her lips when a petite redhead rushes over to their table, looking more than disappointed when Stefan politely turns her away insisting that he's fine. Sending a glare in Bonnie's direction way when she snorts.

"Well…" Bonnie waves her hand waiting for him to answer. Raising her eyebrows when he gives a brief nod, she hadn't expected him to actually answer her question but is pleasantly surprised that they've reached a point where it could be a semi casual topic in conversation. Briefly wondering when that had happened. She still blushes when Caroline asks her about her and Jesse.

"Bon?"

Bonnie blinks, clearing her throat ignoring the smirk on his face.

"So if there's no switch, why does it feel like everything is hitting you all at once when you turn it back on?" She asks, to distract herself from her thoughts, shifting when he looks at her as if he's trying to figure her out.

"Because you're deciding to feel." He answers, smiling when he sees the small blush on her face.

"So we basically just make ourselves temporary sociopaths?"

"In a nutshell."

"So it's all just bullshit." Bonnie raises her glass to her lips, shaking her head when he shrugs.

* * *

 **Yes, yes I'm aware that Stefan and Freya have like zero chance of ever happening but I absolutely adored their scenes together even though it was like two seconds. I crackship them so hard. As far as Bonnie and her humanity I didn't want her to go to far off of the deep end, and due to keeping this a T rating fic I scratched Bonnie torturing Damon. I apologize if you found the ending to be lackluster, but I just didn't want to leave this unfinished and I felt as if the first chapter was a bit of a cliffhanger.**


End file.
